I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
