I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize