and you said cock pushups were impossible
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
