Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
