She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
