Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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