when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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