Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
