shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
