Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My balls are so social today.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
