all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
