the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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