I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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