At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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