can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
