the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
