no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
