She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
