Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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