woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
