His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
