I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
