So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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