Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
two words...techno handjob
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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