Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
