Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
