You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
