someone get that fucking seahorse.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
