Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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