She's JV to your varsity
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
