i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
