and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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