It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
