Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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