Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize