One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
