You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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