hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
