sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
