I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
