so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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