this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
