Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
