I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
