Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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