The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize