he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
