I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
