I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
