There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Houston, we have a blender
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
