i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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