Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
