I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
