it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
