Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
