she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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