Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
