Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
As shirtless as possible
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize